I'm so grateful that there is one who always loves me and who always accepts my love;and who will always love me regardless of my past, my mistakes, and my imperfections. So many of us say we want to be like Jesus but yet we are so far from being in His image. We judge, we hurt people, we abuse people, we take advantage of people, we deceive people and we love with conditions. How is any of that like Jesus? No it's not. My prayer is that I continue to try and love like Jesus has taught me to love and that I don't allow the pain some have caused me to make me stop giving of myself. I don't want to allow fear, because of past hurts, to enter my heart in any way at all because fear paralyzes you and keeps you from all that God has for you. I want to receive all that God has for me and I know that He once told me my latter will be better so I'm expecting the best. Life is full of lessons and God has brought some amazing people into my life. Some of those amazing people are no longer part of my life but through them all I've learned. My past experiences have taught me what a real friend is (some say they are your friend but they are wolves in sheep clothing). Because of past hurts, I also have a much better idea of what I want from a man and I will know when to run because sometimes things are not what they seem.
Someone once posted on my blog and said that they learned “If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.” That is such a true statement for true love--an enduring love. That is exactly what my late husband did. I thank God that my husband recognized how much he loved me and what we had. Though my late husband made some mistakes, and some were incomprehensible, for which he paid for in ways nobody can imagine (thank God for his grace), the one mistake he didn't make was letting me walk out of his life. He realized that above everything, above our issues, we had a good thing. He realized that I was a good woman and that God had given him all he wanted in me as his wife. It took a humble man to realize his mistake, ask me for forgiveness and not allow the fear of whether our relationship could work stop him from taking a chance on us. It also took my being humble and forgiving to give us another chance. It's because of our "true love", our fighter spirit, his overcoming his fear, his warrior spirit, and knowing that if something comes back to you "then you love if forever" that we were able to survive everything we did. It is because of our trust in God, not allowing fear to dictate, and pushing forward in our marriage (regardless of our issues and family complexities) that in our last 5 years we were able to overcome every obstacle and grow closer together till death parted us. Yes the word says the "two become one" and that is what we did. We focused on us and as a result, we experienced all that God had for us. Sometimes people make the mistake and run from the very thing they asked for instead of trusting God to do all he can. I'm so glad my late husband did not run. God is in the business of miracles and he truly did a miracle in my marriage. He restored what many thought was dead and in doing so God gave me and my daughter the opportunity to forgive my husband. That was a gift from God that I cherish because our lives could right now be full of anger and bitterness towards my late husband but it's not. Bottom line, I am not nor have I ever been a quitter. My husband also was not a quitter and I see the same quality in my daughter. My daughter recently posted on Facebook the other day that she doesn't want any weak people around her and I had to chuckle. We are fighters and we want people who have that same tenacity around us. My motto is "keep pushing forward", with God before me who could be against me. There is not one difficult time in my life that God has not pulled me through it so I am victorious because of Christ Jesus. Through everything I've been through in life I have grown. I strive, I persevere, I grow closer to God, I depend on him more and I get stronger as I MOVE FORWARD. I guess that's why I love the song so much -- Moving Forward.
Father God, please help me to love the unlovable, to forgive those who have hurt me, who have deceived me and help me to keep my eyes focused on you because without you I have absolutely nothing at all. Thank you my Lord for always being there for me for never leaving me nor forsaking me and for loving me despite my imperfections. Thank you for those you have brought into my life and have taken out of my life because each one came with a lesson. Thank you for what you have waiting for me Lord because I know my latter will be better. Praises to you my Lord.
Lord, for anyone who is reading this post and can relate to what I've blogged, I pray you strengthen them, comfort them, direct them and deliver them from anything that hinders them in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus. Lord, if they need a miracle in their life I pray you do it now in the name of Jesus because there is nothing that is too difficult for you. Lord help them to "Move Forward" Amen.